Why I No Longer Wear Makeup


I do not own any makeup. And I have not for a couple of months now. But before that I didn't wear it. The mascara, the eye shadow, the lipstick was lying in my drawer hidden in the dark. To be honest I didn't care about them. I learned that without makeup I grew more confident in my own skin and my skin thanked me for not irritating it. But here are some other reasons why I stopped wearing makeup. And why it is no longer lying in the dark. These are the reasons I have experience when I stopped wearing makeup:

Time
When I was younger I woke up 45 minutes  before anyone else in my family on school days so I would have the time to put stuff on my face (and do my hair). I started out thinking it was fun but it quickly turned out to be something I had to do. I had to put on makeup. Otherwise I wouldn't be perfect. I had to wake up 45 minutes earlier than I would have done if I didn't have to put on that makeup. 
So when I stopped, I gained that 45 minutes to sleep. 45 minutes is a lot of extra sleep. And I absolutely loved it. I could just wake up, put on some clothes, eat breakfast and go to school. I felt like I was free. 45 extra minutes of precious sleep for a teenage girl resulting in being happier and less tired. 

So I stopped spending my time putting it on. 

Taking it off
When I was younger, I liked putting it on. At least that's how it started... But I hated taking it off. I thought it was a waste of time and I loved the days where I could just go to bed. Without having to irritate my skin and eyes. It is absolutely amazing and my skin thanks me for not covering it up. I feel like I can breathe. My skin is less red and irritated. 

So I stopped putting it on so I didn't have to take it off. 


Money 
When I was younger I spend a lot of money on makeup. I would buy tons of products I never really used but bought anyway because I wanted a 'big collection'. I wanted more and more so I could feel like I was perfect. As I have said I started out with a curious mind that quickly turned into a burden. And that burden was also that I had to keep buying it. I had to. But deep down, I didn't want to. Because to be honest, I don't care about makeup. 

So I stopped spending my money on it. 

I feel better without it
When I was younger I put it on to make me feel better. Correction: to trick me into feeling like I was feeling better about myself. Because really.. I didn't. Makeup was there to make me feel perfect. And that is not something I wish to feel and I do not want a thing like makeup to control how I feel. And to be completely honest I feel so fucking great since I just threw it away. I feel so great! 

So I stopped putting it on. 


And in all honesty:

I simply don't care
I don't care. There is really not more to it than I don't care about makeup. And when I think back to the girl who put it on I even question if I liked it back then or if it was a burden from the start. And I think it was. Because I felt like I had to do it in order to be perfect. To feel better. For others. And that should never be the case. 

I am not the mask on my face. 

I am not the products I have in my drawer or on my face.. 

I will not be measured by what I put on my face. 

I will not hide from whatever I was hiding from. 

And I will not do something because I feel obligated to do so. 

Instead: 

I will listen to what I want and I will do something because I want to do it. 

I will listen to my body and I will love myself for how I look and who I am. 

I will let go of things like make up in order for me to be/feel perfect. 

I don't need something to hide my imperfections. Because they are not imperfections. At least they are not mine. I did not decide that they are imperfections. That is something I was told. Something I was being told to feel. And that is not how I feel. So I stopped listening and started embracing myself.  Because why? Why would I do something I wasn't feeling like doing when I didn't really feel like my 'problems' were problems?